REVIEW - HYDE PARK ON HUDSON

All over the place, and yet in no place at all. Who knows what the filmmakers were trying to achieve with this sloppy period drama? Not even themselves, it appears. Shortly prior to the first ever visit of a British monarch to America, President Roosevelt summons his distant cousin, Margaret Suckley, to his rural home, where he woos her with a wank and she effectively becomes one of his concubines. The royals arrive and unsuccessfully try to conceal their rampant xenophobia (it is presented here as a most British trait, odd given that much of the principal cast and crew members are British), before abandoning it altogether over a hot dog, and everything will be alright. As the President instructs his timid and thoroughly humiliated Piece of Ass No. 3 Margaret to smear mustard on the King's hot dog, you'll begin to understand why they didn't include this bit in The King's Speech (needless to say, no Oscar nominations for Hyde Park on Hudson). The King and Queen's quaint priggishness is gainfully employed as the only successful humour in the film, aided by astute performances, particularly from reliable scene-stealer Olivia Colman. Rather suddenly, though, their behaviour becomes unbearable. It's a wonder anyone thought to make a film of this sojourn; in fact, as told via an embarrassingly chick-lit-worthy narration, it is Margaret's story, yet the focus meanders from her to the President to the royals to the President's other kept women, never with much discernible insight. Scenes are staged in the manner of an amateur middle-brow director aiming for a subtly quirky effect, which is what makes Hyde Park so peculiar, and such a mess. He so frequently veers off course, such as in a nighttime chase through the woods, that the film has the air of something stitched together from a troubled shoot with several different directors, none ever fully in command of the material. It may not have been a troubled shoot, but it's a troubled watch for sure.