NEW POSTER FOR SNOWPIERCER

Who the fuck even knows when Snowpiercer will be released in the US, or the UK. Who the fuck even knows how much of it will actually be released?! Bong Joon Ho + Tilda Swinton vs. Harvey Weinstein? I know whose side I'm on! One way or another, this is another pretty cool poster for the film, which made proper shitloads of cash in South Korea.

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT BUMPED TO 2014

No, I don't think they're afraid of the Oscar competition, like all those other films. They are afraid, however, of one particular potential Oscar competition film - The Wolf of Wall Street, which is opening now on Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit's former release, Christmas Day. So off Jacky pops to the 17th of January, a good old dead zone that feels much more appropriate for a likely turkey as this.

ROBERT ZEMECKIS TO DIRECT ADAPTATION OF MARWENCOL

Jeff Malmberg's 2010 documentary Marwencol about Mark Hogancamp, a victim of an attack that leaves him brain-damaged and who subsequently creates a 1/6th scale model of a Belgian town during WWII in his back garden, is to be remade at Universal. Edward Scissorhands writer Caroline Thompson has written the script, and Robert Zemeckis is on board to direct. He's reported to be seeking Leonardo DiCaprio for the lead. Mark Hogancamp and Leonardo DiCaprio are about as physically alike as me and Mo'Nique.

POSTER FOR ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Fuck's sake this is probably gonna be shit and that.

FABULOUS FRIDAY - THE NEW WORLD

Terrence Malick's The New World is a stupidly beautiful film. So I've got a right load of stills from the film for you to peruse. It's not most people's favourite Terrence Malick film, but, well, it's not mine either. The Thin Red Line is a wee bit better. But the others aren't! His first collaboration with Emmanuel Lubezki, and he scored the film's only Oscar nomination. Its production designer Jack Fisk and costume designer Jacqueline West have also both gone on to even bigger things since this film in 2005.

REVIEW - PARKLAND

By the time a film falls into the hands of the director, a lot of the work has already been done. The director's job is, from there, to assemble all that work and cohere it into a whole. Their job is, basically, decision-making. The decisions Peter Landesman makes as director of Parkland turn a mediocre film into a laughable one, though the decisions he made as writer were no better. A self-misunderstanding of Landesman's own output is all that prevents Parkland from descending ascending into camp, and, of the cast, only Jacki Weaver has the intelligence to deviate and succumb to theatrics. This is an extremely serious film, its moderate production values and narrow scope indications of its paltry ambitions, the loftiness with which all this is approached an indication of its expectations. Shaky-cam is employed to induce a sense of urgency, which is futile given that the only urgent sequence in the film is its own prologue - the meat of Parkland's story is not the JFK assassination but what occurred immediately after, and that's a deflating, curious story that might be well-treated by farce or even Lynchian abstruseness. With the president dead, most of this film aimlessly limps around, its focus erratic, its style coarse, its one unifying thread a corpse. The sole point of interest is in the study of Lee Harvey Oswald's family, and their experience over those November days; James Badge Dale is the only leading actor herein to retain his dignity by film's close. A comical reverence to its (deceased) subject, a thorough dearth of originality and ugly work from cast and crew alike sink this misguided project.

MICHAEL ARNDT EXITS STAR WARS: EPISODE VII

Michael Arndt hit the big time when he won an Oscar for writing Little Miss Sunshine. He's worked on a fair few high profile projects since then, one of which was set to include Star Wars: Episode VII. But he's exited that one, and director JJ Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan (who contributed to both The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi) will replace him. Just thought I'd make a post about that.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER FIRST TRAILER

One of the worst things about The Avengers was Captain America, cos he's such a fucking mope. Perhaps the best indication of the success of The Avengers will come when this lands in March next year in the UK and April in the US, as now that they've chucked him out of his original universe, they've got to rely on that one in order to shape a sequel for the character.

GOTHAM AWARD NOMINATIONS ANNOUNCED

The Gotham Awards get themselves out of the way long before Oscar season commences, and so have no influence on that race. As such, they manage to exist as a reputable independent awards body. A very small slate of members upon the nominating committees has caused some moderately questionable choices, though these are strong picks nonetheless, and no surprise to see 12 Years a Slave leading the field. On the 2nd of December, the winners will be announced.

Best Feature

12 Years a Slave (Dede Gardner, Anthony Katagas, Jeremy Kleiner, Steve McQueen, Arnon Milchan, Brad Pitt and Bill Pohlad)

Ain't Them Bodies Saints (Cassian Elwes Tony Halbrooks, James M. Johnston, Amy Kaufman, Lars Knudsen, David Lowery and Jay van Hoy)

Before Midnight (Christos V. Konstantakopoulos, Richard Linklater and Sara Woodhatch)

Inside Llewyn Davis (Ethan Coen, Joel Coen and Scott Rudin)

Upstream Colour (Shane Carruth, Casey Gooden and Ben LeClair)

Best Actor

Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)

Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Robert Redford (All Is Lost)

Isaiah Washington (Blue Caprice)

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

Scarlett Johansson (Don Jon)

Brie Larson (Short Term 12)
Amy Seimetz (Upstream Colour)
Shailene Woodley (The Spectacular Now)

Best Documentary
The Act of Killing (Signe Byrge and Joshua Oppenheimer)
The Crash Reel (Julian Cautherly and Lucy Walker)
First Cousin Once Removed (Alain Berliner)
Let the Fire Burn (Jason Osder)
Our Nixon (Brian L. Frye and Penny Lane)

Bingham Ray Breakthrough Director Award
Ryan Coogler (Fruitvale Station)
Adam Leon (Gimme the Loot)
Alexandre Moors (Blue Caprice)
Stacie Passon (Concussion)
Amy Seimetz (Sun Don't Shine)

Best Breakthrough Actor
Dane DeHaan (Kill Your Darlings)
Kathryn Hahn (Afternoon Delight)
Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station)
Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years a Slave)
Robin Weigert (Concussion)

THREE-HANKY THURSDAY - MARLEY & ME

You'd look like that too if you'd just watched Marley & Me.

Marley & Me is, mostly, a bad, bad film, with a very nice dog. Dogs are so great and I love them! It's so sad at the end of Marley & Me, and I'm sure you can imagine what happens. In fact, I'm sure you've already seen the film. Actually, I'm not sure about that. But I am sure that Marley & Me is such a sad film!