Wednesday, 27 March 2013

REVIEW - JACK THE GIANT SLAYER


My resolution to watch Ian McShane in anything he's in is wearing thin. He casts a glance in Jack the Giant Slayer, one which the camera acknowledges but only just: as his statue is toppled and beheaded before his own eyes, he regards its destruction with such nonchalant disdain you wonder if he's even noticed. Bryan Singer quickly cuts, as if to deter the ennui from seeping through the lens and into the theatre, but he's much too late. Singer pitches Jack somewhere between Jurassic Park and most of Peter Jackson's films, only misplacing the originality with which Jackson infused said films - indeed, Jackson's remakes and adaptations are leagues more original than this. The first act topples forward, as if relying on our memory of Jackson's and Spielberg's back catalogues to fill in the blanks, skipping from scene to scene and line to line in a manner that suggests that the majority of this shit has been exorcised in favour of dazzling CGI and epic battle sequences, neither of which ever materialise, although not for want of trying. Despite a budget edging $200 million, this is a remarkably cheap-looking film, drearily shot by DP Newton Thomas Sigel, and seemingly designed out of an am-dram company's prop and costume trunk. The clumsily animated giants are voiced as leading IRA members, which had me devising political subtexts I knew weren't in the film (the script's intelligence level doesn't stretch nearly that far) but which were far more interesting than what was on screen. Just about every actor is miscast, from the plain Eleanor Tomlinson (hardly worth the effort), to the preening Stanley Tucci. Ewan McGregor extraordinarily outdoes even his worst to set a new low for himself, and poor Nicholas Hoult looks thoroughly out of place - Hoult is a good actor, but he's no star, and he's no giant killer. Bryan Singer directs the whole troupe in scenes of people either standing around looking gormless or moving around looking gormless. This marks a new career low for all involved.

6 comments:

  1. Too bad.
    May it's time for Bryan Singer to stop doing these fantasy big-budget CGI flicks and return to the noir genre through which he broke into Hollywood. The Usual Suspects was outstanding. Have had high regards for him since. But now, that seems ages ago. X-Men films have been done and diluted. His talent is being wasted on these down under films. And with Days of Future Past coming next, he still has no intention of letting X-Men go. Matthew Vaughn should have returned for the sequel. Perhaps a second innings isn't in his mind yet.

    Ewan McGregor getting dinged is indeed rare.

    Studios are the worst things happening to the Hollywood right now. They shell out 100s of millions on fantasy/superhero flicks but can't sanction 10-14 million on original projects by unknown filmmakers. How many reboots of Superman we're gonna have in foreseeable future?
    You must have read about that article on Shane Curran's(Primer) struggle to get his A Topiary film off the ground for asking $14 million budget. He worked nearly 5-6 years polishing the script,learning visuals, curbing the budget. Even with attachment of big names such as Soderbergh as executive producer to that project, it couldn't take off. And now that film is dead. It may 've been a failure but could 've created an opportunity for something new. If studios can reboot the $200 million budget superhero films with middling success over and over again with familiar and unfamiliar names, why can't they provide just a tenth of that money to talented unfamiliar filmmakers like Currath for original ideas and newer thinking even if they're massively inexperienced and feasibility of the subject. But they've absolutely no problem in handing the reigns of superhero films to indie-filmmakers. Marc Webb got to do The Amazing Spiderman right after 500 Days of Summer. Word is that last year's indie film Safety Guaranteed's director is to helm next Jurassic Park. Can't wait, right?

    Now, we know why 70's films' were so successful.

    What's more concerning and infuriating is the fact that studios are now asking the public to pledge the money to kick-start the riskier/fan-based projects with signed T-shirt and premiere ticket as the profit back. Seriously?
    What are we doing here, huh?
    Have we fallen in to such a deep ditch now?
    What are your thoughts?
    Extremely sorry for such an overbearing, long, hollow and under-conceived writing. See, my English stinks.
    Wanted to bring this issue for a while now.
    Thank you.


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    1. No, you're completely right. It's a crying shame, the current state of things in the industry. I will certainly read the article about Shane Carruth that you mention - it sounds interesting.

      I have no idea why Warner poured so much money into this stinker. They buried it with poor marketing anyway, so they obviously knew they had a dud on their hands. At least Disney tried with John Carter, even though it flopped just as hard. Although it was a better film than this. I hope Jack the Giant Slayer serves as a lesson to major studios. These films aren't worth the exorbitant costs.

      I've lost hope for Bryan Singer. I don't think his career can recover. The X-Men franchise is dying, and it seems he's pinning his hopes on Days of Future Past being a major success. The publicity for it has already been huge, and I'm not sure if they've even started filming yet.

      I'm not Ewan McGregor's biggest fan, rly. He comes across very well in interviews, but I don't think he's a particularly talented actor.

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    2. Also, you must stop apologising for your English! I understand every word you write and appreciate every point you articulate! I always enjoy your contributions to my site.

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    3. Thank you, brother.
      Much appreciated. Means a lot coming from you.
      Got to agree with you on Bryan Singer's slump. Filming on Days of Future Past begins in April, if am not wrong. The marketing is annoyingly great with Singer busy tweeting the addition of ensemble and pre-production set pieces for almost months now. If he had just dedicated half of the work on Jack the Giant Slayer's marketing, the movie would 've at least made even.

      Ewan McGregor's versatility has always caught me. Not my favorite actor either but his work has never let me down with particularly impressive performances in Trainspotting(got to be his best), Big Fish, Angels & Demons(he was great), The Ghost Writer & The Impossible. But could see where you're going. And respect that. His performances aren't the most accessible given to a point.

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  2. I saw this with the family a few weeks ago and promptly dismissed it. We are on the same page here. Nice work!

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    1. Ew, it's so bad. I only bothered with it because I was bored and had a free day. What a load of crap!

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