OSCAR PREDICTIONS 18 - AW FUCK IT'S TODAY, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!

Best Picture

Argo (Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Grant Heslov)

alt: Silver Linings Playbook (Bruce Cohen, Donna Gigliotti and Jonathan Gordon)

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. Not that Argo would be the best choice, but it's something of a foregone conclusion by now. There are four films in the running for Best Picture, though, despite what you may have heard.

Best Directing

Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

alt: Ang Lee (Life of Pi)

These are the other two Best Picture contenders. And then there's Michael Haneke. And David O. Russell. And, fuck, Benh Zeitlin could win. And rub it square up the arse of Film Independent.

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

alt: Hugh Jackman (Les Misérables)

I know, lol. Hugh Jackman! That's how certain Daniel Day-Lewis is to win. It's not even cool any more to see DDL win, it's just obvious. It's always gonna happen. You could make a fucking gif on your iphone of him taking a shit and he'd win an Oscar for it.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Emmanuelle Riva (Amour)

alt: Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)

I don't see how they wouldn't give this to Emmanuelle Riva. Also, happy birthday, Emmanuelle. See? That woman, that performance, that film. JLaw is almost a quarter of her age. Riva is older than the Oscars themselves. If JLaw wins, I'll wake the fucking neighbourhood, I mean it.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Robert De Niro (Silver Linings Playbook)

alt: Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

Any one of the five nominees could win. In fact, the least likely is Philip Seymour Hoffman, and he won the Critics Choice. Tough shit, BFCA, how many did you match this year?!? Robert De Niro shoved a chilli up his bum and a raw onion up his nose to squeeze out two whole tears on Katie; ergo, he wins.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

alt: Sally Field (Lincoln)

The only person less shocked than me when Anne Hathaway wins this Oscar will be Anne Hathaway. But just you wait for the hand over the mouth, the raised eyebrows, the utter disbelief on her face! Now that's Oscar-worthy acting.

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)

alt: Michael Haneke (Amour)

Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger plz. Can I haz Oscar nao?

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook)

alt: Chris Terrio (Argo)

I will shit myself so hard they'll be able to smell it in the fucking Dolby Theatre.

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 17 - 1 WEEK TO AWARDS

Fucking get ready.

Best Picture

Argo (Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Grant Heslov)

Best Directing

Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Emmanuelle Riva (Amour)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Robert De Niro (Silver Linings Playbook)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

David O. Russell (Silver Linings Playbook)

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 16 - 2 WEEKS TO AWARDS

Now that Emmanuelle Riva has won the BAFTA, she's my prediction for Oscar. There's the proof, sort of. I can hear Chris Terrio's name being read out in my head, so I'm predicting him too, but I've trusted voices in my head before, and nothing has ever gone wrong...

Best Picture

Argo (Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Grant Heslov)

Best Directing

Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Emmanuelle Riva (Amour)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Michael Haneke (Amour)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Chris Terrio (Argo)

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 15 - 3 WEEKS TO AWARDS

Still on the Argo boat, also on the Lincoln boat. First time I've swung both ways at once! In this respect at least...

Best Picture

Argo (Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Grant Heslov)

Best Directing

Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Michael Haneke (Amour)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Chris Terrio (Argo)

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 14 - 4 WEEKS TO AWARDS

Back to Argo. Makes sense, the way things are going. I keep hearing Michael Haneke's name being read out on the stage for Best Director. Still a bit of a mess, though. Still no idea. These would have been up yesterday; as with two weeks ago and the Golden Globes, I wanted to wait until after the SAGs, so couldn't post these on Sunday (yesterday) as it was after 3a.m. here and I needed to go to bed and pretend to be able to sleep.

Best Picture

Argo (Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Grant Heslov)

Best Directing

Michael Haneke (Amour)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Chris Terrio (Argo)

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 13 - 5 WEEKS TO AWARDS

First, I thought Argo. Then I realised I didn't have it down to win anything else. Then, I though Silver Linings Playbook, so I had to find room for David O. Russell in Director and Jennifer Lawrence in Actress. Then, I decided Lawrence wouldn't beat Chastain, and it had to go. Not feeling Haneke and Riva any more, almost went for Lee. So Lincoln it is then! Who knows, maybe Lincoln is about to sweep the guilds. SLP won't get the DGA at least! #clusterfuck

Best Picture

Lincoln (Kathleen Kennedy and Steven Spielberg)

Best Directing

Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Michael Haneke (Amour)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Tony Kushner (Lincoln)

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 12 - 6 WEEKS TO AWARDS

I would have posted these yesterday, as I'll be doing these on a Sunday, but I wanted to wait until the Golden Globes were over - they were, officially, on a Sunday, even if it was Monday where I reside, but it was rather too late once they were done for me to be bothered making these predictions right then. Futile, though, to bother at all. I'm out on a limb on Picture, Director, Actress, Supporting Actor, Original Screenplay, Adapted Screenplay and most of the technical and 'minor' categories.

Best Picture

Argo (Ben Affleck, George Clooney and Grant Heslov)

Best Directing

Michael Haneke (Amour)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Michael Haneke (Amour)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Tony Kushner (Lincoln)

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 11 - 0 WEEKS TO GO

I would offer up a brief analysis of my choices in each category, but I don't have time. Tough shit. They don't need analysed anyway - they're as shit as ever, and they'll be wayyy off, because they usually are with me. Les Mis leads with 10, but with no Best Director nomination; Django and Life of Pi are close behind with nine. Silver Linings Playbook gets just four; Skyfall gets seven, and is an alternate in two more major categories.

Best Picture

·          Argo

·          Django Unchained

·          Life of Pi

·          Lincoln

·          Les Misérables

·          Silver Linings Playbook

·          Zero Dark Thirty

alt: Skyfall

Best Directing

·          Ben Affleck (Argo)

·          Kathryn Bigelow (Zero Dark Thirty)

·          Ang Lee (Life of Pi)

·          Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

·          Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained)

alt: Tom Hooper (Les Misérables)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

·          Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook)

·          Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

·          John Hawkes (The Sessions)

·          Hugh Jackman (Les Misérables)

·          Denzel Washington (Flight)

alt: Joaquin Phoenix (The Master)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

·          Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty)

·          Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)

·          Helen Mirren (Hitchcock)

·          Emmanuelle Riva (Amour)

·          Naomi Watts (The Impossible)

alt: Rachel Weisz (The Deep Blue Sea)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

·          Alan Arkin (Argo)

·          Javier Bardem (Skyfall)

·          Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Master)

·          Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln)

·          Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

alt: Matthew McConaughey (Magic Mike)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

·          Ann Dowd (Compliance)

·          Sally Field (Lincoln)

·          Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

·          Helen Hunt (The Sessions)

·          Nicole Kidman (The Paperboy)

alt: Judi Dench (Skyfall)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

·          Amour

·          Django Unchained

·          The Master

·          Moonrise Kingdom

·          Zero Dark Thirty

alt: Looper

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

·          Argo

·          Life of Pi

·          Lincoln

·          The Perks of Being a Wallflower

·          Silver Linings Playbook

alt: Beasts of the Southern Wild

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 10 - 1 WEEK TO GO

Just one week left and still no closer to knowing how the Best Picture and Director races will shape up. Nor most of the others, actually. In fact, none of them. Fs. Final predictions will be posted just before nominations are announced (definitely not after)!

Best Picture

·          Argo

·          Django Unchained

·          Life of Pi

·          Lincoln

·          Les Misérables

·          Moonrise Kingdom

·          Silver Linings Playbook

·          Zero Dark Thirty

Best Directing

·          Ben Affleck (Argo)

·          Kathryn Bigelow (Zero Dark Thirty)

·          Tom Hooper (Les Misérables)

·          Ang Lee (Life of Pi)

·          Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

·          Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook)

·          Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

·          John Hawkes (The Sessions)

·          Hugh Jackman (Les Misérables)

·          Denzel Washington (Flight)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

·          Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty)

·          Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)

·          Helen Mirren (Hitchcock)

·          Naomi Watts (The Impossible)

·          Rachel Weisz (The Deep Blue Sea)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

·          Alan Arkin (Argo)

·          Leonardo DiCaprio (Django Unchained)

·          Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Master)

·          Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln)

·          Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

·          Sally Field (Lincoln)

·          Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

·          Helen Hunt (The Sessions)

·          Nicole Kidman (The Paperboy)

·          Maggie Smith (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

·          Amour

·          Django Unchained

·          Looper

·          Moonrise Kingdom

·          Zero Dark Thirty

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

·          Argo

·          Life of Pi

·          Lincoln

·          The Perks of Being a Wallflower

·          Silver Linings Playbook

OSCAR PREDICTIONS 9 - 2 WEEKS TO GO

My new predictions, perhaps my silliest yet! Although, frequently, the Academy does equally silly things.

Best Picture
   ·          Argo
   ·          Beasts of the Southern Wild
   ·          Django Unchained
   ·          Life of Pi
   ·          Lincoln
   ·          The Master
   ·          Les Misérables
   ·          Silver Linings Playbook
   ·          Zero Dark Thirty

Best Directing

·          Ben Affleck (Argo)

·          Paul Thomas Anderson (The Master)

·          Kathryn Bigelow (Zero Dark Thirty)

·          Ang Lee (Life of Pi)

·          Steven Spielberg (Lincoln)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

·          Bradley Cooper (Silver Linings Playbook)

·          Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln)

·          John Hawkes (The Sessions)

·          Hugh Jackman (Les Misérables)

·          Denzel Washington (Flight)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

·          Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty)

·          Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook)

·          Quvenzhané Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild)

·          Naomi Watts (The Impossible)

·          Rachel Weisz (The Deep Blue Sea)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

·          Alan Arkin (Argo)

·          Dwight Henry (Beasts of the Southern Wild)

·          Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Master)

·          Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln)

·          Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

·          Sally Field (Lincoln)

·          Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables)

·          Helen Hunt (The Sessions)

·          Nicole Kidman (The Paperboy)

·          Maggie Smith (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

·          Amour

·          Django Unchained

·          The Master

·          Moonrise Kingdom

·          Zero Dark Thirty

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

·          Argo

·          Beasts of the Southern Wild

·          Life of Pi

·          Lincoln

·          Silver Linings Playbook