REVIEW - DEAD MAN'S BURDEN

I feel like a bit of a phony writing a review about Dead Man's Burden, since I have little idea what actually happened during it. That can sometimes be the point of a film, like in one of David Lynch's madder moments, but I'm pretty sure it's not the point of this one. For one thing, I couldn't hear a bloody word the characters said. I'm not expecting RSC standards of diction from a cast tasked with portraying dirt-poor farmers in 19th Century Midwest, but it surely can't hurt to actually open one's mouth when it's one's turn to talk, can it? For another thing, I was half-asleep during the film, which is partly my fault, but also partly the fault of the film. I've never been tempted to doze off during a masterpiece, put it that way. I think the film is about something to do with a dead father, his offspring, reunited after years of separation, and lots of guns being aimed and not fired at people. That said, the laws of bad Westerns dictate that as much of the principal cast must die at some stage, so bullets do eventually get spent. Those words and phrases which fled the mumbling and found a path to my ears mostly consisted of "I reckon" and "Pa", which is how I know it's a Western, btw. This film could have cost $100 million to make for all I know, since money is not synonymous with the purchase of decent acting talent, but does tend to produce glossy cinematography. The actors in Dead Man's Burden (there are mercifully few of them) are largely more aware of the camera staring them in the mug than any of the other figures or items in the set. You can almost smell the odour of desperation for a Spirit nomination off the screen. Somewhere in these actors' heads, there's one voice saying "He just said 'action!' Quick! Start pretending to be somebody else!" and another saying "Hi mum, aren't I doing a good job at this acting?" This is less poor dead Pa's burden than ours - he got to sit this one out, lucky bastard.