REVIEW - TURBO

As slight and as flavourless as boiled escargot, in urgent need of a good dousing de l'huile d'ail, or perhaps nitrous oxide. Turbo runs on the assumption that what ain't broke ain't worth fixing, and hews to contemporary studio animation formula, which is something I've overlooked countless times previously when the animated film in question was of some other merit. Aside from the fact that a film so intent on raising a smile is bound to hit its target at least a few times, Turbo is of astonishingly little merit, considering the fanfare it lavishes on itself. The plot takes so long to get going, you realise the filmmakers have spent their time trussing it up with this cliche and that convention and stock characters ad infinitum, as if they took for granted that they were playing in the big leagues with this paltry effort. And that's where their efforts seem to stop. The film swerves between perspectives, locations and subplots, throwing all manner of curious narrative and thematic ideas at the wall before letting them slowly slip down to the floor, and their triviality is confirmed. Three writers contributed to a screenplay which, in the end, actually epitomises the formula it employs. It's a little hard to be too mean to such a good-natured film, particularly when it's so inoffensive and so likely to enthrall a legitimate segment of the population, and indeed when it did engender some mild degree of interest and good humour in myself. But those were fleeting dispositions, respectively, and the temperament which Turbo left me in once it had reached the finish line was dissatisfaction, tinged with gratitude that got there in under 90 minutes. Vroom!