REVIEW - THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN (TATE TAYLOR)

A flaccid domestic melodrama, floundering in its search for an identity that ought to be so clear! The Girl on the Train is so soapy you can almost smell the suds, yet Tate Taylor and Erin Cressida Wilson never find the proper tone to strike in order to bring it to life. Paula Hawkins' story is slight where it should be significant, overwrought where it should be understated, but it possesses a pulpy charm, a gleeful juxtaposition of prim propriety with salacious desire and filth. Taylor and Wilson together seem deaf to its low-down drives, however, and director and writer each contribute toward a sanitized simulacrum of the movie this begs to be. Taylor is particularly out of his depth, adopting all manner of vague, over-familiar directorial touches with scant purpose in this story. The monotonous seriousness of The Girl on the Train rapidly turns a (reported) page-turner of a novel into the most persuasive cinematic cure for insomnia. A questionable tendency toward foreshadowing and suggestion inevitably does the film no favours, not least in that the inferences drawn by the attentive mind are certain, initially, to be of far greater psychological substance than what actually transpires. This is one of those unfortunate features that mistakes shock for such substance. It's held together, and marvellously so, by a talented cast (of white people, mind, save the Latinx actor cast in a Middle Eastern role), led by the ever-astonishing Emily Blunt. She has a difficult, unflattering part to play, de-glamorized yet not to the extent that it becomes ironically glamorous again. Blunt has, quite possibly, never been better, yet she's hardly ever been in worse.

FIRST TRAILER: THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN

Emily Blunt continues her slow, quiet, inevitable world domination by securing her first, belated Oscar nomination for The Girl on the Train. Not that it's already happened, rather that it definitely will happen. The adaptation of Paula Hawkins' popular crime novel aims to capitalise on the financial success of David Fincher's Gone Girl two years ago; unlike that film, however, the directorial talents of The Help's Tate Taylor aren't quite up to the same high standard. Still, pulpy thrillers like this are right up my street, so I'm looking forward to this one. Out in the UK and the US alike on the 7th of October, aka the Gone Girl slot...

REVIEW - THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR (CEDRIC NICOLAS-TROYAN)

We Western audiences are accustomed to this by now, the sequel that never should have been. We receive them, with varying levels of willingness, countless times every year, apathetic to their mediocrity, quietly cursing them as they desecrate our memories of their predecessors. There's little to desecrate in 2012's Snow White and the Huntsman, though 2016's The Huntsman: Winter's War somehow achieves such a feat - of all the sequels that never should have been, this awful attempt after an already-bad film, itself an ill-advised update of a classic tale, and this an insulting extension from that, in a franchise with no promise, and needlessly jettisoning the first film's star, this sequel takes the cake. In essence alone, Winter's War is slut-shaming manifest as movie, sinking so low as to actually feature a Kristen Stewart body double for one pithy shot, before inexplicably ignoring her character for the remainder of the film, a film which yet includes every other leading cast member from the previous film. An Aussie, a Brit, a South African and an American embark on a tour of the accents of Britain, with wildly erratic results: kudos to Chris Hemsworth for his solid turn at Scottish, though poor Jessica Chastain's heinous effort may just have painted his in a flattering light. Who among the cast could justifiably shoulder the blame for such atrocious dialogue, though? Every last line seems to land with a horrible thud; if not every line, then at least almost. Amid sorry craftsmanship and a silly storyline, savour what few gems Winter's War has to offer: a subtly scene-stealing performance by Emily Blunt, and a genuine good laugh to be had from the film's little people. Alas, even in this regard, the film fails however, with just as many offensive statements as funny ones, and a continued refusal to actually cast little people in these roles. A curse on this film!

TRAILER #2 FOR DENIS VILLENEUVE'S SICARIO

Not as good as the first trailer, perhaps because it seems to be courting the male audience by featuring Benicio del Toro's character more prominently than Emily Blunt's... as if anyone could give a shit. It's Blunt's show, bitches, and you'll all have a chance to experience it when Sicario opens in the US on the 18th of September and in the UK on the 9th of October.