REVIEW - THE INTERNSHIP

You know the joke is coming. The actors are assembled, the setting established, the scenario clear and familiar. The characters are speaking dialogue which is so stagey and so implausible that it can only be in service of one thing: the upcoming joke. And you'll definitely notice it when it arrives. The Internship is that dedicated to making its audience laugh that it expends not even an iota of attention on anything other than the gag ratio and the product placement ratio. It's one two-second pause away from canned laughter. And it would certainly be canned. Because the jokes in The Internship are utterly woeful. There's no excusing most of them - they're lazily delivered, derivative, embarrassing... here is a film so stupid it makes you feel like a smarter person by simply witnessing this scum at the bottom of the barrel, rancid and stale, not a redeeming feature in view. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson's shtick has grown slow and sad, like watching a pair of octogenarians croaking through a script written by their grandchildren. Indeed, the years have not been kind to Wilson, who has the craggy face of Robert Redford (ten years ago) and a neck like a turkey's sunburnt ballsack. As an extended Google ad, it's incredibly vulgar, to the point that it actually (unknowingly) parodies the excessively cheery attitude the company is known, and mocked, for, and if Vaughn and Jared Stern expect us to find it funny that their campus cafe is completely free in light of the company's recent tax activity, the reach of their naivety is far beyond my comprehension. And anyway, what is this, 1998? Wow, Google, how cool! All those cool primary colours and bicycles! Let's all go create an app! Hey, look, fibre-optic! OMG is that a flat-screen?! Have you updated your album artwork yet? Let me know when you're done on the internet so I can call my friend, k? Add me on Bebo! A half-star for Rose Byrne. How come she's as well-dressed in films and on TV as she is in real life? Who does her wardrobe? If the film was just her, you know it'd be four stars.